I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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