alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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