I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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