I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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