The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
