I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm sobbing to NWA
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
