So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
