Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
