i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
