Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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