I think im going to throw up on grandma
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
