Already got asked if we're dating
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
