No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have already put on my inside pants.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
