u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
