lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
