i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
birth control should be required to get into college
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
