i already hear my dad disowning me
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
