Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
