Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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