If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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