Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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