you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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