fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You can't motorboat a personality
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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