I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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