So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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