I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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