Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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