I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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