Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
