I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
