Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
