ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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