I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
