break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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