We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
