Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
