Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
