i need an iv and a liver transplant
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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