I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
