I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
