Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I am naked and annoyed.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
