too bad you live with your parents still
im having a threesome with these popsicles
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
