He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
