similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
