Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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