Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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