Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
