oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Randomize
