well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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