Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
