Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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