Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
