as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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