Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
