apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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