Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
