thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
