.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
